Woman...Visable, Invisable?

Carmen Dell'Orefice (74 in 2005)

This has been rolling around in my head for a while, years actually. (Please forgive a little rant) When I started this journal, I was experiencing that feeling of invisibility that many women get with approaching middle age. Writing here helped me feel like I still had a voice – and with that voice – a face!

Now more and more women (of a certain age) are standing up (metaphorically) and demanding to be counted; the Internet has given us a platform, and the word-on-the-street is “I AM VISABLE”! Finally there are individuals out there saying, “this is us, this is what we look like – we mothers, sisters, wives, lovers, daughters – we are not invisible anymore”. These "ordinary" women are just confirming how "extraordinary" we all can be. I want to link to two brave, ground-breaking women who have addressed this issue, each with her own brand of flair and style. Click on these links to see -

 "Your Faces Through The Ages"

 and "Visible Monday"  -

Because these blogs put such a positive spin on what has been largely a taboo subject (aging), I wish I had seen them several years ago when I suddenly realized - one particularly awful morning (with shock, amazement, horror and trauma) - that I was “old”. I was 51 then and working in an office in London where the average age was probably 26 and this sudden awakening totally floored me. Being homesick, missing my children and SAD (seasonal affective disorder) might have made it worse but there it was – just plain ugly! Had there been any visible examples of sassy, smart, attractive, capable, vital women around, I think this realization would have been a lot less traumatic. But all the really visible, role models were young, anorexic, androgynous girls, (and apparently, in at least one instance, a boy).

Popular media has much to answer for but I also think that we – our generation – should be ashamed of ourselves. I mean, we bought into the cr*p (pardon my French), youth obsession, big time and just took the punches – “Old? Oh, I guess so, after all I’ll be forty next year. Pass the hair colour and a pot of that wonder wrinkle remover and if that doesn’t work, there’s always Botox!” Should we not be angry, even militant? Time to stand up and say “I am a woman” and part of what’s wrong with the world today is that the collective wisdom, intuition, understanding and plain old common sense we women have gained through life experiences is treated like so much rubbish. My history? Erase it from my face, erase it from my body, then erase it from my mind!

My point is this; the general perception of aging is one of stereotypes and rigidly defined clichés, bar the occasional reference to some fabulous celebrity. I am blown away to see my contemporaries – baby-boomers too – being so entirely “present” and looking so good in the process! Which leaves me asking the question “why has growing older generally been given such a bad rap? OK, I make some assumptions here, in that I’m talking about women who can embrace life as a gift (not a curse) and explore every moment for the joy within. These are obviously people who have not let themselves be defined by anyone else’s parameters but make their own rules as they go.

Image of Carmen Dell'Orefice courtesy of Wikipedia

What a Day, What a Week...

What do you mean...my birth certificate expired?

Image of Falstaff courtesy of Wikipedia.

Another Piece of Paradise

Africa’s West Coast –Wild, mysterious, hidden, lonely, arid, and secretive; oh, what stories this land can tell…Let me take you on a quick trip - an overview - of our new stomping grounds.

Namaqualand Flowers in Spring

Travel from twenty-first century Cape Town, heading north, up the coastal road. Leaving the edge of the suburbs and Koeberg Nuclear Power Station behind, you head out through the dunes and the scrub toward the playground of Langebaan. Here in the sparkle of the Lagoon, the twenty-first century meets the stone-age. Long ago, between the two World Wars, a lone man, tired of the haste and noise of the world, lived on a little boat in the Langebaan Lagoon for thirty years; he found the peace he craved in this stark and vacant place. Today the towns of Langebaan and Saldanha have replaced the wild veld.

Typical Flora

For some, Langebaan only stands at the beginning of the adventure; there are fishing villages to visit, flowers to see, beaches to explore, mountains to climb, caves to find. In the beauty of the Cederberg, retrace the footsteps of the original inhabitants who sheltered in the caves and left the paintings recording their lives. At the top of Saint Helena Bay, you can walk the long, white sandy beach and watch the Dolphins playing in the surf. Elands Bay marks the northern end of Saint Helena Bay, the largest bay in Africa and only one of three bays in the world where the sun rises and also sets.

Langebaan Lagoon (seen from the West Coast Nature Reserve)

On further north, Lamberts Bay celebrates the Crayfish, so plentiful in these waters, with a yearly festival. Further up the coast to Strandfontein and on to Lutzville where the microclimate allows for the making of fine wine. The floral carpets of Namaqualand are waiting, but not for long.

Augrabies Falls

Ahead lie the wonders of the diamond fields and the Augrabies Falls, where the mighty Orange River tumbles into the Atlantic Ocean. This is the frontier of South Africa, a place where one amazing country flows effortlessly into the next. And on to the Namib, but that’s another story, for another day…


Photos thanks to Wikipedia - I seem to have forgotten how to do hyperlinks - working on it!

Water, Boats, Sea & Sky...

Let us, then, be up and doing
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labour and to wait…

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Leaving Scotland...

Scottish Sky toward the North

Leaving Scotland, almost a year ago to the day, was not a hard decision, as much as we had loved it there. All the drama, all the human suffering and pain, all the blood spilled on Scottish soil down the ages lends layers and depth, a patina of sorrow beneath the rugged beauty of the country. As the recession bit deeper into the UK and health issues dogged us, we realized that to prosper once again we would need to leave our comfort zone in this beautiful, poignant place and keep searching for our home.

We’ve been travellers, gypsies if you will, for a year now. No roots yet but slowly making our way back to the twenty first century. Over the way, health has improved and hope has taken the place of despair and soon perhaps, home won’t be a dream anymore but a reality. Along the way, markers hidden in the tangled undergrowth revealed themselves; old friends reaching out to comfort and delight. Along the way I have gleaned some awareness I can truly treasure.

In Gift From the Sea, Anne Morrow Lindberg reminds us “…survival periods enforce a form of simplicity on man. The monk and the nun chose it of their own free will. But if one accidentally finds it…one finds also the serenity it brings.”

The images I’m sharing here are of places in Tanzania and Zambia. All countries have beauty – sometimes hidden, sometimes not – but Africa has so much.

Writing will be sporadic until I have access to the Internet where I live.

Another Time, Another Place...

I came wandering by and found this old friend. Funny thing about old friends, you can pick up where you left off and nothing has changed. Many miles and places lie between when I last wrote and this point in time...

This journal is to be a gift to myself; a place to write for me now. Sounds selfish, I know but I can't imagine anyone reading here anymore, not my family, not my sons, not my mother, not my friends. I never meant to disappear that way...sheesh it's been a long, long time.

I hope to record a little of the last two years and where I am today; more thoughts, more stories (anecdotes really). Something once again that helps me sort through it all...

Christmas...

Wherever you may be, I wish you the happiest Christmas!

May the global economic slowdown have us all re-defining what's really important in our lives.

~~~~~ The Journey of the Magi by James Tissot 1894 ~~~~

There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries. ~W.J. Cameron

I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. ~Charles Dickens

May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through! ~Author Unknown

Peace to all who read this and thank you for continuing with me throughout this somewhat chaotic year.