Monday, 28 April 2008

Hmmm, Is There a Problem Here?

When we first hoped for a little shop, it seemed like just a dream. M and I were working in the south of England and our jobs, while rewarding, didn’t satisfy the need to craft something for our future with our own hands. That was nearly three years ago and the road to now has been a bumpy ride at times. Along the way, the focus shifted a lot and as we defined our strengths and weaknesses, there has been constant adjustment of our goals.

The ill-defined destination of the journey is still revealing itself…we have not yet arrived but like an explorer in a new world, I am finding challenges to overcome constantly!

How grand and high-minded that all sounds! In a nutshell, my bad habits of a lifetime are coming home to roost and many of them have to do with…

Time management…Oh my, how much time can I waste! …It’s criminal, knowing intellectually that there is no more than what I have been given (however long that is) and each passing day means less of it. And yet, I fritter it away! If procrastination were an Olympic event, I’d have double gold at least.

Why is it so hard to stop? Is it some sort of addictive behaviour? Surely, having identified the problem, I could just re-adjust a little and correct myself – make a list and follow it – or something? Usually, procrastination applies to the unpleasant chores waiting; washing the windows, finishing the laundry, clearing up the shed, keeping up with the filing, doing the taxes. But, guess what? Keep putting stuff off and it snowballs, and I find myself at eleven pm, in a howling gale and driving rain (because I was watching a fascinating show about composting), with a dying flashlight (put off buying batteries), in my summer dressing gown (the winter one is in the wash) looking for a box (last seen at the bottom, back, furthest corner, amongst the spider webs), holding the missing sales receipts from eight months ago (that should have been filed already), that I need for the tax return that I have until midnight to file online (before we are fined), in the shed that should have been sorted over the Christmas break – four months ago! I think you get the picture…

This happened, I’m still here…does anyone know of a twelve-step program…somewhere…?


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